Willow Smith on Polyamory and Creating a “Relationship Style That Works For You”
On Wednesday’s episode of Red Table Talk, Willow Smith opened up to her mom, Jada Pinkett Smith, and grandmother Adrienne Banfield-Norris about being polyamorous, and explained why the lifestyle works for her. “With polyamory, I feel like the main foundation is the freedom to be able to create a relationship style that works for you and not just stepping into monogamy because that’s what everyone around you says is the right thing to do,” the singer said.
“The main foundation is the freedom to be able to create a relationship style that works for you.”
Willow further explained that she learned the main reason for breakups in monogamous relationships was infidelity, and she could only see herself getting married if there was a true purpose, like if she needed to combine finances with her partner. She added, “The history of marriage really irks me, just the history of marriage as a whole and what it has represented over the years for women in particular.” She also helped Adrienne, who initially had trouble understanding the desire to have more than one partner, grasp why polyamory might be a better choice for certain people.
While Gammy felt polyamory was “all just centered around sex,” Willow shared that she was actually interested in exploring polyamory because she was “introduced to it through kind of a nonsexual lens.” She said, “Let’s say you haven’t always been the kind of person that wanted to have sex all the time, but your partner is. Are you gonna be the person to say, you know, ‘Just because I don’t have these needs, you can’t have them either’?” In fact, Willow added that in her friend group, she was the only poly person, but had “the least sex out of all of [her] friends.”
Jada, on the other hand, said she “totally [got] it” when Willow told her she was polyamorous. “Wanting to set up your life in a way that you can have what it is that you want, I think anything goes as long as the intentions are clear, really more to yourself than anything. And I know that there’s a lot of beauty that sits outside of the conventional boxes.” Whether you live a monogamous or nonmonogamous lifestyle comes down to choice, the three discussed.
The family also welcomed Gabrielle Smith, who’s soley polyamorous, and her boyfriend, Alex, as well as “poly newbie” Gabrielle Alexa Noela; Effy Blue, a relationship coach specializing in nonmonogamy; and Michelle Hy, an advocate for normalizing nonmonogamy in the Asian-American community. Following the conversation, Gammy shared that when it comes to nonmonogamy, she realized she didn’t need to try to understand it, but rather just listen and allow people to “do their thing.” Watch the eye-opening discussion in full above.